Beloved 149-195

These chapters opened with Paul D’s reflection on his recent behavior with Beloved. Although he initially decides to tell Sethe about the last three weeks, even travelling to her place of work to do it in person, he cannot bring himself to confess to her. Throughout this scene, I continued to notice the use of the number four. As Paul D waits for Sethe he notices “four kitchen dogs waiting for scraps” (149). Later in the scene, as Paul D and Sethe walk through town they notice “four women, walking two abreast” (154). On the very next page, Morrison writes, “it was nearly four o’clock now.” She also writes that Sethe has been meeting with Beloved for four months. The house on Bluestone road coincidentally has four rooms and it is four men who later try to recapture Sethe. I was originally unsure of the meaning behind the motif of the number four, but now I’m wondering if it is somehow symbolic of Sethe’s four children and her past trauma that she is unable to escape. Throughout the novel, objects in Sethe’s environment appear in fours. Sethe is unable to forget her children, even after one has died, and two have run away. Perhaps the persistence of the number four demonstrates Sethe’s unwavering love for her children, even after everything that has happened. Or maybe the persistence of fours is something far darker. They may represent a part of Sethe’s past that she struggles to escape from—an appendage of the mental chains that harness her to the past.

In the subsequent chapters, the pace of the book quickens. As a reader I felt the sense that the book was beginning to reach its climax. This is first hinted at when Baby Suggs describes that she smells something “dark and coming.” As Suggs tries to guess at what this dark and coming thing could be, she reflects that it can’t be news of Halle’s death because she’s prepared herself for that. She reminds herself that “it wasn’t worth the trouble to try to learn features you would never see change into adulthood anyway,” (something she has done seven times for each of her seven children). As a side note: 1+2+4=7. I might be reaching a little far here, but I think everything Morrison does in this novel is intentional. This idea that Baby Suggs never bothered to learn the features of her children because they would likely die before adulthood is incredibly horrifying to consider. The horror and shock I experienced when reading these chapters only grew.

The next chapter opens with the focus on the four horsemen. Here, Morrison depicts the cruel perspective with which these men view slavery. The men describe Sethe as having “gone wild,” repeatedly relating her to nothing more than a horse, hound, and other animals devoid of humanity. This chapter culminates in the following scene: “Inside, two boys bled in the sawdust and dirt at the feet of a woman holding a blood-soaked child to her chest with one hand and an infant by the heels in the other. She did not look at them; she simply swung the baby toward the wall planks, missed and tried to connect a second time” (175). My initial reaction to this scene was a mixture of shock, confusion, and horror. I stormed into Katherine’s room, sat down on her bed, looked her in the eyes, and asked “is Sethe crazy.” She only replied, “not at all.” As a reader it was easy to consider whether or not Sethe’s actions were justified. My initial reaction was the same as the four horsemen: How could she have done something like that. However, what’s more important is not whether Sethe was justified in attempting to kill her children but rather the idea that she had to consider doing so in the first place. When Sethe reflects on her journey to 124 Bluestone Road, she explains, “when I jumped down off—that wagon, there wasn’t nobody in the world I couldn’t love if I wanted to” (191). Having endured the atrocities of slavery, Paul D understands what she means. He explains that amidst the brutality and loss associated with slavery, it’s not worth loving anything for fear it will be taken from you, “so you protected yourself and loved small. Picked the tiniest stars out of the sky to own; lay down with head twisted in order to see the loved one over the rim of the trench before you slept …A woman, a child, a brother—a big love like that would split you wide open in Alfred, Georgia. He knew exactly what she meant: to get to a place where you could love anything you chose—not to need permission for desire—well now, that was freedom.” Cue the tears! This passage is probably my favorite from the entire novel. I think Paul D’s reflection on the ambiguity of morality puts Sethe’s actions into perspective. Sethe’s actions are a testament to the cruelty of slavery. While Paul D has chosen to love little in order to preserve his safety, Sethe, upon arriving at 124 Blustone Road, allowed herself the freedom to love whoever. She loves her children so much she would never allow them to suffer what she experienced at Sweet Home. In her eyes, death is a mercy in the face of slavery.

The last (and I promise the last thing because this blog post is so long sorry) I noticed during these chapters was the symbol of trees and the duality behind their meaning. Up until this point, trees have represented sources of healing, protection, and comfort—they represent finding beauty amidst the trauma and evil of the world. Denver finds solace in her emerald closet and it serves as a space of comfort that offers a reprieve from the isolation and loneliness she feels at home. Amy describes Sethe’s scar as a chokecherry tree, turning evidence of human cruelty into something of beauty and growth. When Sethe and Paul D walk through town, they notice “black trees lining the roadside, their defending arms raised against attack” (152).  However, as Sethe and Paul D argue over the morality of her actions, Paul D comments “You got two feet, Sethe, not four” (195). Paul D’s comment carries with it a remorseful tone. He reminds Sethe of her humanity, suggesting that her attempts to kill her children were unusually cruel and animalistic. I found it interesting how, like the four horsemen, Paul D too relates Sethe in this moment to an animal, citing her actions as inhumane and wrong. Following this comment, “a forest sprang up between them; trackless and quiet” (194). In this moment, the meaning of trees shifts from one of protection to a symbol of separation and isolation. As the forest thickens, Paul D and Sethe grow further apart, culminating in Paul D’s departure from 124 Bluestone Road.

As I reflect on this reading, I am reminded of the idea that slavery destroys everything it touches. Not only does slavery impart on its victims severe mental and physical trauma, but it forces individuals to make unimaginably difficult decisions. It severs ties not only between racial groups but even amongst people of shared backgrounds and experiences. Most of all, it shows how the practice of slavery has lasting consequences—physical, psychological, and societal—even after it ends.

Beloved, 101-146

            This reading begins with a revealing discussion between Paul D and Sethe, where Sethe learns why Halle didn’t meet her to escape as planned. While initially furious when she discovers that Halle had witnessed her sexual assault and didn’t come to her aid, Sethe’s anger dissipates when Paul D tells her how broken Halle was after seeing that happen. Shortly after this conversation, Paul D mentions the pain of wearing a bit as punishment.

The story of the bit invokes the more physical definition of freedom we discussed last class. Paul D brings up the imagery of how difficult it was to see the farm rooster strutting around with more liberties than himself. This was the scene I pictured during our conversation last class when we considered Sartre’s words, “Freedom is what we do with what is done to us.” I pictured the rooster scene as we discussed the differences between physical and mental freedoms, pointing to that instance as symbolic of physical liberty. The lines between physical and mental freedoms, ideas I hadn’t considered too much previously, are made much more visible, and shown to be important in this reading. This was done through instances such as Paul D and the rooster paralleling Sethe and her relationship with Denver versus Beloved. These relationships represent the more abstract mental freedom that Sethe now has. This freedom we discover is limited, as Sartre says, due to her past experiences. With Denver, we’ve seen a much more restricted relationship than Sethe has with Beloved. Even though time is on Denver’s side, in terms of opportunities to be close with Sethe, Beloved is able to quickly get close to Sethe through specific knowledge of her past. The ease of not having to articulate crucial events in her life that would dredge up pain creates a swift bond between Sethe and Beloved, one which Denver envies. In short, Sethe is not permitted full mental freedom due to the impossible nature of her past and is thus unable to connect with Denver in the same way she is with Beloved, even though she may want to. 

Beloved (52-100)

    This reading opens with tension between Paul D. and Denver, as Denver feels great animosity toward Paul D. for banishing the baby ghost, Beloved. Concerned with how much Sethe stands up for her misbehaving child, Paul D. thinks that it is unwise for Sethe to have such strong emotions in her current situation, thinking, “For a used-to-be-slave woman to love anything that much was dangerous, especially if it was her children she had settled on to love” (Morrison 54). As seen with Baby Suggs, children are quite a risky thing to love because they can disappear or be hurt. Sethe has already commented on her immense love for baby Beloved, and she has now proven this overpowering love to extend to Denver. With Paul D. back in her life, it remains to be seen if Sethe’s love and protective spirit will grow to include him, as well, especially after such a successful outing to the carnival. 

    The novel takes a turn when Sethe, Denver, and Paul D return to 124 to find a young woman with impeccable skin who goes by the name Beloved. As the chapter progresses, the three turn their efforts to taking care of their new guest. As Denver becomes enamored with her new companion, Beloved grows obsessed with Sethe. She often goes to meet Sethe each day as she returns from work, “as though every afternoon she doubted anew the older woman’s return” (68). Sethe appreciates Beloved’s unending devotion, and the two converse over Sethe’s early life. Beloved appears to know specific details about Sethe’s life, such as her diamond earrings given to her by Ms. Garner after her wedding. 

    Later, Paul D. and Sethe talk about their life at Sweet Home, specifically Halle’s mysterious disappearance. Paul D. admits that Halle watched Sethe get assaulted by the schoolteacher and boys, and that seeing this horrendous violation against his wife finally broke him. This seems to continue the theme of Morrison’s commentary on the comparative strength of women and men, as Sethe survived the assault while Halle’s sanity did not. Paul D. also admits to awful crimes being committed against him before he escaped slavery.

    Towards the end of this reading, it is implied that Beloved is the baby ghost that has been haunting the house, as she discusses the cold, dark place from which she came. Beloved then makes it clear to Denver that her loyalties are to Sethe alone. Despite Denver’s many attempts to get close to her, Beloved says, “[Sethe] is the one. She is the one I need. You can go but she is the one I have to have” (89).  It appears that Beloved’s adoration of Sethe may be exceeding normal boundaries, perhaps turning into an unhealthy obsession. I am interested to see how Sethe and Beloved’s relationship evolves, as well as what role Denver will play.

Beloved (pg 4-51)

    In my reading of this section of Beloved, I noticed patterns in certain feelings and emotions. The feeling of despair was prevelant in this reading. This despair caused utter turmoil for the characters as they sought to navigate their current lives despite all of their previous trauma. 

    Sethe often feels guilty for any happiness or appreciation she feels for the world. In one of her first times remembering Sweet Home, Sethe remarks: "although there was not a leaf on that farm that did not make her want to scream, it rolled itself out before her in shameless beauty...it made her wonder if hell was a pretty place too... It shamed her" (Morrison 7). Sethe bitterly grapples with the contrast of such a beautiful place bearing such awful atrocities. Throughout much of the reading Sethe feels guilty or wrong for appreciating good, beautiful things. Often, people who have been through seriously traumatic events, as Sethe has, struggle with this feeling of wrongness when they naturally appreciate something good instead of reeling in their pain all the time. 

    Sethe continues with this conflict, reflecting that she "had the amazing luck of six whole years of marriage to that 'somebody' who had fathered every one of her children. A blessing she was reckless enough to take for granted, lean on... A bigger fool never lived" (28). Sethe in reflecting on her husband and marriage, instead of allowing herself to appreciate those six years, Sethe can only wallow in her current pain. She feels foolish for relying on companionship and comfort-- things that are necessary for humans to thrive. 

    Ultimately this suffering has led Sethe to unhealthy ways of dealing with it. She remarks: "all her effort was directed not on avoiding pain but on getting through it as quickly as possible" (46). Sethe rushes her feelings and trauma responses. She doesn't allow herself the time and space to truly dwell in her pain and experience it. While I can sit here and reflect that this is unhealthy by our standards, Sethe knows that with all her pain and trauma, allowing herself to actually feel those emotions and recount those memories would ultimately destroy her. 

    Eventually, Sethe's own pain and bitterness has affected her daughter. Denver like her mother has bottled up her feelings and pushed her pain down. Morrison describes her meltdown, writing, "Denver was shaking now and sobbing so she could not speak." She continues to reveal the extend of Denver's avoidance of her feelings, calling her crying, "the tears she had not shed for nine years" (17). Even a child has felt the effects of her mother's trauma so heavily that she hasn't expressed her extreme loneliness and sadness that has plagued her entire childhood. When Morrison describes Denver's safe space, she returns to Denver's feelings of loneliness. Morrison writes, "In that bower, closed off from the hurt of the hurt world, Denver's imagination produced its own hunger and its own food, which she badly needed because loneliness wore her out. Wore her out" (35). Denver's loneliness is tiring. Much of the weight of dealing with trauma both first-hand and second-hand is tiring. 

    Despite all this pain, Morrison's characters also begin to give themselves the opportunity to hope and find some comfort in their lives. Sethe considers this when she wakes up next to Paul D. She "thought also of the temptation to trust and remember... Would it be alright? Would it be alright to go ahead and feel? Go ahead and count on something?" (46). Sethe considers the possibility of allowing herself to trust and rely on something (or someone). This shows some considerable growth in her journey of grief and processing compared to Sethe's earlier consideration that she was "foolish" to ever think that she could depend on and find comfort in her husband. Sethe continues to allow herself the hope to feel even the smallest bit of contentment. Morrison writes, "[T]he notion of a future with him, or for that matter without him, was beginning to stroke her mind" (51). Sethe allows herself to consider the possibility of a future with Paul D as a source of comfort or finding comfort without him. Previously, Sethe has restricted herself to the present, unable to linger too much in her past full of grief and pain but equally unable to consider a future. 

    This growth is also seen in Paul D. When elaborating on Paul D's own denial of his grief and feelings regarding his friends at Sweet Home, Morrison describes Paul D's trauma response as one full of constant work. Paul D only allows himself limited headspace. He only operates "on the part that helped him walk, eat, sleep, sing" (49). In shutting down all other brain function, Paul D avoids the memories, feelings, and pain associated with his memories of his relationships and past hardships at Sweet House but through his time spent with Sethe "the closed portion of his head opened like a greased lock" (49). This imagery of a greased lock evokes the notion that his change wasn't slow or forced. Even just seeing Sethe started Paul D on this journey of allowing himself to think and feel, not just work. 

    In just the short time that he's lived with Sethe, both Sethe and Paul D have such large changes in their response to their trauma. Their bond through their trauma and the comfort they find in eachother is innately human. When one experiences trauma, it becomes profoundly easier to address or cope with when reflecting on that or even just spending time with one who has similar experiences. In finding comfort in eachother, Paul D and Sethe have made considerable steps towards their ability to hope despite their trauma and grief. 

Great Gatsby Chapters 8-9 (Brown)

 SO! These are the last two chapters of The Great Gatsby. A lot went down. At first, Nick doesn't know how to feel about Gatsby and his being okay with the death of Myrtle Wilson. The weather once again mirrors what's happening. Chapter 8 opens with the sound of a foghorn in the distance. Nick is feeling confused and foggy too. Then, we get some nice backstory on the whole Daisy/Gatsby past love. It says that Gatsby loved Daisy because of her popularity with other men. He liked the challenge. Nick says, "It excited him, too, that many men had already loved Daisy- it increased her value in his eyes"(149). I think this is an important quote because it emphasizes that Gatsby's love might not be a real and pure as we originally thought. She is more like a cherry on top or a piece of a puzzle. It reveals to me that Gatsby is more self-absorbed than we might've thought. This is further shown in a later quote saying, "He had intended, probably, to take what he could go- but now he found that he had committed himself to the following of a grail"(149). This is relating Daisy to a trophy. So, yeah, do we like Gatsby? 

Flash forward and we find Mr. Wilson sitting with his friend Michaelis. He is slowly figuring out that Myrtle had been cheating on him and figured her lover must have been Gatsby! Woah plot twist! Okay, so now we have this grief-ridden guy running around with his angsty anger and then he shoots Gatsby! WHAT! Then he shoots himself. Wow, that was crazy. Oh, and did y'all notice the whole God allusion to the eyes of Dr. T.J. Eckleberg? That was interesting...

Now we find Nick in the wake of Gatsby's murder and the house is finally silent. This entire book, this house has been filled with people admiring Gatsby and his opulence. Nobody even showed up for his funeral. Daisy and Tom are gone. Okay... so his closest friends wouldn't even come, but Owl Eyes shows up? That's kinda weird too. Nick also has now decided that he does like Gatsby?

Something I thought Fitzgerald might've done intentionally showed the good and bad in all of his characters. The idea that I cannot decide if I like Gatsby or not is something that intrigued me. I think Fitzgerald is saying that we all have bad and good inside us and it just depends on our circumstances or our actions. 

Great Gatsby Chpts. 6-7

 The beginning of chapter 6 opens with a reporter visiting Gatsby to question him, specifically to know who he truly is-just like everyone else around New York. Nick begins to explain Gatsby's past, starting with his former name James Gatz of North Dakota whose family owned a farm. Gatsby was a poor college student at St. Olaf's in Minnesota and worked as a janitor to pay for it, but dropped out after only two weeks, unsurprisingly, unfulfilled by his life and searching for more. He changed his name when he met a drunk yachter named Dan Cody, who brought him along as his "steward, mate, skipper, secretary, and even jailor". I thought it was interesting Nick included an abrupt look into Gatsby's life, an "honest" take on a man who literally invented the person he is today just from the conception of what he thought he should be. Gatsby did not attain his wealth of $25,000 after Cody's death due to a mistress, but let that moment drive him to be successful and wealthy. 

 

We continue in this chapter to a scene with Tom Buchanan being invited to Gatsby's for a drink, with Nick and Mr. and Mrs. Sloan. To add to an already awkward situation, Gatsby begins to conversate with Tom, saying how they had met before and how he knows his wife. There is also a very odd interaction with Mrs. Sloan, who invites them to dinner, but then leaves Gatsby behind. Tom also decides to insert a quite hypocritical statement regarding Daisy visiting Gatsby alone and without accompaniment. Next, we see Tom accompanying Daisy to Gatsby's next big party, which gave the evening its "peculiar quality of oppressiveness" and unpleasantness, as Nick states. It seems that Gatsby has done everything to impress Daisy, he even dances with her, however, both she and Nick appear to not be having a good time. Annoyed by the behavior of Gatsby, Tom assumes that his wealth comes from bootlegging and wants to search more into who he is. Daisy defends Gatsby, saying his wealth comes from owning drug stores and pretends to have had a good time, as to not give Tom any satisfaction. We end the chapter with Gatsby saying he wishes he could make Daisy understand. Nick explains Gatsby's want for a life with Daisy as he has envisioned it is unrealistic. One where Daisy says to Tom: "I never loved you.", runs to Louisville and marries Gatsby "just as if it were five years ago." Nick explains to Gatsby that "you can't repeat the past," but is given denial, with Gatsby searching for the idea of himself that was with Daisy before. Nick also details Gatsby and Daisy's first kiss and we see how she became a part of who he was, and without her, he could not find the "thing" that makes him, him.  

In chapter 7, the tea is "spilt", as some would say. We start with a description of Gatsby's disheveled house, no party's happening, and a sudden change in staff. Nick is invited to have lunch at Daisy's house and Gatsby is too, during one of the hottest days of the summer. We learn that heat causes people to act very differently, learn things, and let feelings out. In the house, Tom is sent to prepare drinks and Daisy kisses Gatsby on the lips after saying "You know I love you," in front of Nick and Jordan. Daisy's child runs in, someone I forgot even existed, and causes Gatsby to remember the little person as well. Obvious awkward tension fills the room, with Tom trying his very best to showcase his talents and superiority to Gatsby, who stays silent and observant at this time. In a moment, Daisy comments on Gatsby's ability to remain cool while staring at each other in unspoken conversation, which reveals to Tom their secret love. Gatsby also describes Daisy's voice as "full of money", which causes Nick to have an "a-ha!" moment and realize the distinctiveness as well. Now knowing of the romance, Tom insists on heading into New York and for some reason switches cars with Gatsby-a yellow "circus wagon" for a blue coupe. Needing to stop for gas, Tom ends up at the Wilson's, seeing Mr. Wilson sickly and grave as he describes how he and his wife are moving West after Tom gives him the car to sell. In a window, we see Mrs. Wilson, locked in a room, staring into the yellow car and seeing her lover and a woman, who she presumes to be his wife. Tom is not pleased by Wilson's information and realizes that his wife and his mistress are "slipping through his fingers" and are no longer in his "secure and inviolate" control. 

Continuing on to the hotel scene, where the five of them end up as a way to get out of the heat. Tom continues his questioning of Gatsby, there's a conversation of a Mr. Biloxi who was at their wedding, and there is even a wedding happening just down the stairs. Ironic that a marriage is joining below while a marriage is dying above. Then the getting gets good with Tom's final question to Gatsby, "What kind of a row are you trying to cause in my house anyhow?" This causes an uproar, with a verbal battle between Tom and Gatsby over whether or not Daisy truly loved Tom, and Gatsby revealing how he became a rich man that she could love. This part specifically reminded me of the quote at the beginning of the book: a man willing to do anything to get the girl to love him back. Daisy is forced into the conversation, revealing how she never loved Tom, but she did, but actually only says anything to satisfy Gatsby. I feel in this scene Daisy's true character is shown as well. Tom, in order to get back at Gatsby for stealing his wife, reveals the crooked life that is Gatsby, his dealings with Wolfshiem, the reality of his drug store business, and other sketchiness that leaves Gatsby looking as if "he had killed a man". Gatsby and Daisy inevitably leave, leaving Nick to remember that it is his 30th birthday. 

Finally, leaving to return home to Long Island, Tom, Nick, and Jordan pass by a crowded scene at the Wilsons, where it is learned that Myrtle Wilson had been killed in a car crash, by a yellow car that refused to stop. Knowing that he could be a culprit for the crime, Tom instantly steps in to explain how he did not kill her and on the car ride home, is seen sobbing at the loss of his mistress. Arriving home, Nick refuses to go inside, understandably, with the drama from earlier, and walks past a hidden Gatsby in the bushes. The reader learns that it was Daisy driving the car that killed Myrtle, who, believing it to be Tom, stepped towards the car, while Daisy intentionally (I think) turned the wheel back towards her. Nick no longer trust Gatsby and disliked him so much at this point. Gatsby is waiting to protect Daisy if anything were to happen inside and Nick goes to look into the window to see a surprising scene. Tom and Daisy, neither happy nor unhappy, share an intimate moment of conversation. Nick does not tell Gatsby this, leaving Gatsby to believe that his love is waiting for him, and the fantasy to continue. 

The Great Gatsby Ch. 1-2 (Beatty)

 Chapters 1-2 of The Great Gatsby

The beginning of chapter one begins with the narrator, Nick Carraway, describing himself and his relationship with his father. He states that his father taught him to not judge other people. This is funny to me because he quickly contradicts his own morals and talks about how privileged he is and how he has almost better morals than most people. He then mentions Gatsby and describes him as he says Gatsby "represented everything for which I have unaffected scorn" (2). But he refutes this statement by letting the reader know that Gatsby is actually exempt from his usual judgements. Just as he did on the first page, Nick is a hypocrite in saying that he does not judge people. Then, Nick switches topics to discuss his move to New York and he mentions his job in the bond business. He then talks about his home which is located in West Egg. West Egg is known for being home to people with new money and poor taste. While Nick's home is modest, his neighbor, Gatsby, owns a massive mansion. I think this contrast between Nick and Gatsby is going to come up a lot in this book. One night, Nick drives to East Egg to have dinner with his cousin, Daisy, her husband, Tom Buchanan, and Daisy's friend, Jordan Baker. Tom tells them about a book he is reading called, "The Rise of the Colored Empires" in order to amuse them. After a while, the dinner ends and Nick goes back to his home in West Egg. When he gets there he sees Gatsby standing in the yard with his arms open towards the water. Nick follows his gaze but only sees a green light in the distance. I think this final scene in chapter one provides a very clear image of Gatsby and how Nick views him. Nick doesn't really know anything about Gatsby and this scene captures it perfectly. Nick doesn't know where Gatsby's wealth came from and when he sees Gatsby looking at the light, he becomes even more mysterious to Nick. This is another clear contrast that shows a difference between Nick and Gatsby which I discussed earlier in the post. 

The second chapter begins with a description of the valley that separates East and West Egg. This valley is where New York's ashes are disposed of. Hovering above the valley, an old sign made by an eye doctor depicts a large pair of eyes. This valley is a major contrast to East and West Egg. It is gray, desolate, and clearly displays poverty in between two wealthy communities. Nick and Tom take a train ride that connects East and West Egg. Tom makes Nick get out of the train with him at one of the stops in the ash valley. Tom leads them to Wilson's garage. It is revealed that Myrtle, Wilson's wife, is Tom's lover. Tom orders Myrtle to follow them to the train and he takes them into the city. They go to Tom's apartment and throw a last-minute party with Myrtle's sister, Catherine, and another couple. Catherine tells Nick that Gatsby is a relative of Kaiser Wilhelm who was the ruler of Germany at the time of  WWI. Nick gets annoyed by the conversation of the guests at the party and wants to leave but at the same time, he finds the group incredibly fascinating. Myrtle is gifted a puppy by Tom and she begins chanting Daisy's name. Tom responds by breaking her nose. What a silly decision! The party ends and Nick takes a late train ride home. This party is another example of major contrast. Nick wants to leave but he stays because he is thoroughly fascinated by the people and environment. Contrast is definitely a repetitive occurrence in The Great Gatsby and I think it will continue to be.